“Sometimes God answers yes when I pray, sometimes God answers wait when I pray, sometimes God answers no just because He loves me so, but I know God always answers when I pray.”
I sang this song as a child in Sunday School, never questioning its meaning.
But a year ago, when God answered “no” to one of my earnest prayers, I was shattered.
I was in church that Sunday morning, preparing for service, when my phone buzzed with a message.
“Are you okay?”
A friend in ministry, who I was praying for healing for, passed away.
My faith trembled.
Had I misunderstood God’s voice?
Had I mistaken my own desires for His direction?
I had seen God protect, provide, and perform miracles—so why not this time?
Why would He call home a faithful servant in the middle of an assignment He had given them?
It didn’t make sense.
I didn’t have the words to comfort his family, and my dear friend while I was drowning in my own questions.
I thought about my aunt’s passing, as many believed she passed prematurely as well and the grief piled higher.
I was a mess.
2 months later, I finally worked up the courage to ask my mentor one of my many questions.
His response was simple, yet loaded:
‘Have you considered that you could have misinterpreted the situation & that this isn’t about you?’
Ouch.
I had been so consumed by my pain and confusion that I had failed to acknowledge God’s sovereignty & infinite wisdom.
I had overlooked the truth that God—who sees the end from the beginning—does not withhold out of cruelty but out of love.
I had not realized that even this loss carried a testimony.
A testimony of a life well-lived, with many lives touched by God’s love displayed through him.
A testimony of unwavering faith until the last breath.
And a testimony that still speaks.
Something shifted in me.
A piece of my selfishness died that day.
And with it, my fear of asking for “big things” again.
Because whether the answer is “yes,” “no,” or “wait,” I now trust that His response is always wrapped in love.
Maybe you’re in a season of waiting.
Maybe you’ve received a painful “no.”
Or maybe you’re wrestling with prayers that seem unheard.
Keep asking.
Keep knocking.
Keep praying.
Because God always answers.
Bloom in solitude 🌸